I look for you but youre gone. I try to find a glimmer of light in your eyes, but theyre dark…with glints but no new light…just as the night skys display of old shine. years old.

your eyes are as the night, filled with old light.

yet you are in my dreams, and daily my mind and fingers search for you as if they have become enchanted. how can I love something which is not real? Like a gnat, flying toward fluoresence.

your eyes are as the lamp, putting forth false light.

what, therefore, makes the light old? alas, the light is gone though only now does it reach our weary, human eyes.

I am as the galazy gazer, marvelling upon old light.

and what, therefore, compells the gnat to be fooled? a lamp cannot call the creature. the bug merely flies aimlessly, blinded by a self deceit.

I am as the naive gnat, intoxicated by my own hope. too ignorant and afriad to see the truth. so I blame the lamp…who has said and done nothing capabale of deception.                                     it simply is what it is.

by: Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn’t mention us
And the bible didn’t mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin’ on our heads
But they’re just old light, they’re just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I’d done alright
And kissed me ‘til the mornin’ light, the mornin’ light
And he kissed me ‘til the mornin’ light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn’t bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn’t destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn’t mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

You’ve ruined me now. But I liked it. But I’m ruined.

Now I see I’ve been a lot of people’s Summer, made a lot of people cold. Turned their season into winter. Now, that shit is getting old.

I dont mean to break your heart. To tear us all apart. To use you, and abuse you, and inevitably lose you. See I love you and I mean it. There’s no man above you, can’t you see it? I guess not because I front like I don’t need you and I stunt like I can’t see you. And I’m blunt as if I smoke you and with my toxic love I choke you. Heavy hearted I weigh you down. From MY flaws I make YOU frown. How do I love you, if I do this? Would love really put you through this? I know I love you because I feel it. Your heart, I know, I am able to steal it. I can’t fake, you are the one. But being single’s so much fun! ;)

Its cold, and dark, and damp, and stark. And there I find the love I lost so long ago. Improper for a ladies to search for fight, like sharks. Yet, proper appeals not to my ego. So down the stairs and around the corner of your heart I went. To the very bottom, where I thought I’d be. And there I found a shrivled girl, who looked to be dying and very spent, and thought ‘that can’t be me’. I searched for myself, longed for another compartment of your heart. Then I realized, the girl had been me from the start. Sitting cold, and dark, and damp, and stark. And there I found the love I lost so long ago.

okay so I’m on here for one reason and one reason only. I’m anxious about looking at prom pics and theyre takin forever to post them. i mean, i deleted half the people from my old high school anywas, just because they go to meade…nthng personal, but still, i wanna see the ones thts still in my friends list. sooo, i’m waiting and, besides myspace, this is the only social network i have. sooo, im tryna pass my time with this but i think i’ll just do my hair

ps. i thnk my boo had sex w/his prom date last night. Im nt sad (keep it pimpn) bt thts knda gross if he tries to come hook up with me -_- we shall see <3

It was a strange world, in which I awoke,

Far different from that to which I was used.

It felt as though my world had broke,

As if my home was misconstrued.

Unsure of what I was looking at,

Carriages without horses,

Lost and confused and dazed I sat.

And then I heard them: voices.

Following, but staying careful,

For a white man’s voice I heard,

I peered around the corner.

The sight left me unsured.

A white man, tall and lean, stood in a shirt and tie

Close to him, looking in his eye, a woman by his side

Dark brown with black eyes, standing unafraid,

She spoke as an equal,

Glued to her, my eyes stayed.

‘Where am I?’ I wondered, and then my heart dropped

Falling ill with horror, for I had been spotted. Caught.

“Hello”, spoke the white man. “Can I help you ma’am.”

I blinked and stuttered and coughed a bit.

“I jest wanna know whur I am.”

Looking down, I apologized, for I’d looked the master in the face

Glancing up, I saw their puzzlement adding to my disgrace.

‘But wait’, I’d thought, ‘he called me by a name

That wasn’t at all obscene.’

He called me ma’am, but I’m not white.

What ever could this mean?

And why was this negro woman here?

And why was she dressed so nice?

Wearing a tailored suit…of pants!

And jewelry clear as ice.

Confused, disheveled, baffled, surprised.

None of these words could describe

The glaze and glare of my eyes

As I looked on, examined, and cried

And then, in fear, I turned and ran and ran

For crazy I had seemed,

And crazy I had been as well.

And then I heard them: screams.

Running my way, a light-skinned woman, with only a t-shirt on,

Dark little children, barely dressed,

Followed by a man in uniform.

White, and with a gun, chasing the woman and children

Then something wrapped around my legs…I walked toward the perilous building.

Broke down…dirty…chaotic—The scene looked so familiar

Yet with an odd sense in the air, seeming so peculiar.

“Get on the ground!” the officer yelled.

So I dropped to a black road, covered in bullet shells.

And watched a brother dragged, a father beat

Slapped down each time he was brought to his feet.

A line of a similar scene was ushered out.

A gun shot rang

And then a shout.

An then a moan, guttural and lowly

Blood—red and glistening—dripped down slowly

A sister, I think, one of the children I’d saw,

Fell to the ground and began to claw…

…and weep and moan and scream as well,

The outcry seared my throat—could set fire to hell.

All negro, and poor, I saw myself—

My enslaved pathetic being—

in the faces of everyone else…

…their lives void of meaning

The white man, again—I knew he ruled.

I shook my head knowing, disappointed. I’d been fooled.

I looked on at the chaos and thought with disdain.

‘This world’s no different from my own. In fact, it’s quite the same.’

Bright blue eyes, reminiscent of a spring time sky, dance with mine each time they rise.

Red fiery hair gives a welcoming glare, As if nearly welcoming my eyes to stare—

our mouths to share a smile there—and all the while I do not dare to share,

with these eyes, that hair, that mouth…

That I’d like to know more of what they’re about. <3